transitioning

i say this again and again, but this time, i really haven't written in here in a long time. if you want to find me, find me on facebook. that's where it's at, folks.

summer's nearly over.

just five days, and i'll be packed up to move-in.

the excitement is slowly rousing itself awake.

pittsburgh

made it here, yep.

abre los ojos.

one helluva good movie: vanilla sky.

next, i'm watching brazil.

i've also started compiling a summer to-do list. it's more goals i'm setting than fun i'm wanting to have.

i painted last night, so that's one thing scratched off.

but i don't easily quit.

dot the tangents, connect them together

i've only been back home for two - well, three days, now and i'm already falling back into the same cookie-cut pattern my summer's are shaped in. letting the days waste away and meander by without making anything significant out of them. if you can imagine the shape of that, kudos. there are things that need to be done. things i've wanted to get done. yet, every resolution i promised to myself to make productive use of my time has gone to the pits. i try to dredge up the will, the motivation, but apathy inevitably strips me of both.

being stuck with just my mom is annoying to the point of painful to tolerate, and she's not even home during the day. jane austen readers, think mrs. bennett and you have her in a nutshell. it's strange and foreign, trying to make conversation with her. it's a sad testament to how little we spend time with each other, and even more sad and perhaps awful that a part of me is grateful it's been that way. ..i miss my brother's company.

oh, and the computer's crashed. lovely, that. components which preserve irreplaceable memories, work, and art may be lost beyond salvaging. it makes you realize how much of your life and every life is invested in computers. it's like a fire. only everything you owned, bought, and made turns into nothing. not even ash.

..this is evidence of why i oughtn't be allowed to go near blogs while on the fringe of sleep.